I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
