you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
