Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
