yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
