And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
