That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
