why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
