Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
