He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
