That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize