I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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