Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Such a big mess for such a small penis
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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