I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize