Capitaan dildo arrescate!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
