I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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