i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
sarcasm needs its own font
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
