i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
