Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
