We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
