just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
ugly people sure do ruin things
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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