he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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