I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
