I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
