They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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