i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
