fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
