i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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