the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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