with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
