dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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