we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize