the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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