Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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