I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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