I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I could fuck to npr.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
