Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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