If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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