thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
