It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
