were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
