i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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