the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
