awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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