I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
