as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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