wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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