I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
