She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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