I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Randomize
