Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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