remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
