Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
