thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
