There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
