i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize
