this just has baby written all over it
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
