Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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