tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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