Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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