Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
