No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
