last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize