is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
