I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
They have beer where we have blood.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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