My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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